Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Week 50 - They Know if You've Been Bad or Good

9 Dec - 15 Dec: be good for goodness sake. Seriously.

Half of my household is Icelandic, and I suspect generations of falling down glacial crevices and inhaling volcanic ash has done funny things to these people. (Bjork?)

Let's take Christmas traditions, for example. If you think a jolly fat man in a red suit creeping through your house on Christmas eve is a bit weird, spare a thought for the Icelandic children who have thirteen santas to contend with.

And what dastardly santas they are. Check out these dudes (with English translations; sourced from

Spoon Licker (Dec 15) and
Pot Scraper (Dec 16)
Sausage-Swiper (Dec 20)
Window-Peeper (Dec 21)

Doorway-Sniffer (Dec 22)
Candle-Stealer (Dec 24)

Every night for the thirteen nights leading up to Christmas, a child (i.e., my daughter) leaves a shoe on her windowsill (i.e., a stocking hung next to the Christmas tree), and agonizes over whether she's been good enough to earn a small gift each morning, or naughty enough to earn a... potato.

This year, since I can't keep these critters out of my house, I'm joining in the Icelandic Christmas spirit for the thirteen days before Christmas. If I have been good, that is, if my day has been productive and I have been busily rewriting or writing, the scary santa of the day will reward me, probably with something bad for my teeth. If I have been bad (i.e., lazy), I'll be checking out potato recipes.

So far, my daughter has two cool gifts, and I have two potatoes.

The santa for Dec 14 is Stubby, an abnormally short dude who steals pans to eat the crusty bits off them.

I don't want a potato from Stubby. I'm sure I can get an hour or two of editing in. I just know I can.


  1. This was both educational AND funny! I've always thought the idea of some old guy watching me when I sleep was a tad creepy. Earn your sweets, my friend! (Although, I do love me a good latke sometimes!)

    1. Ah yes, we have a rich world. I like to get in touch with my Celtic roots around this time with an Irish coffee or two, but unfortunately, I think I have another potato coming my way (too much of that piddling you were talking about).

    2. Hello Egg- gave you a shout-out on my blog today-- just to let you know. Have a happy writing day!

  2. Wonderful post, Egg...but I don't know. So much one can do with potatoes! Make stamps. Stampers? The things that have an image/words on them that you put ink on and transfer to another piece of paper. Yeah, those.

    Hey...I ordered Zinsser's book. Stubby is going to leave it in my stocking. :o) How old is daughter? I'll send a sweet potato. :o)

    1. Thanks for the suggestion. I might try writing my next story using stampers.

      My daughter is three. Luckily, she likes mashed (and sweet) potatoes if the stamper idea doesn't work out.

      I wouldn't mind a book or two in my stocking this year - from the dependable santa. There's just so many writing books to choose from, so feel free to share the names of your favourites anytime.

  3. I think Ive seen these guys on the list of registered sex offenders. Actually, Stubby seems useful. Does he do windows?

    I love the Christmas variations from around the globe. By the way, thank you for using the word "Christmas."

    1. Too funny, and unfortunately, a feasible observation. If you've been good, I'm sure Stubby would eat the crusty bits off your windows for you.